I'm shaking in my boots- oh wait, I'm not wearing any. [Her voice is so dry it makes the Sahara Desert seem like the tropics.]

Cher Feliks, you would make better use of your time if you just went to your charming friend and mounted 'im on 'is desk in the middle of class. I'm sure it would be far more pleasurable to all parties involved. [Pauses and adds:] Though some students may need several sessions with the therapist to erase that image from their minds.