/puts on the Twisted Sister Christmas Album [OPEN/CLOSED]

[astonishing_xmods]

WHO: Everyone on campus!
WHAT: Holiday goingons
WHERE: The Institute
WHEN: Threads can be set at any time this week.
WARNING(S): if a thread goes into warning label territory, either throw it in the subject line or take it to a separate log.

The entire campus is decorated for the holidays in red greens and silvers. It seems just about every major winter holiday is represented in some way. In the main lobby, there's an absolutely gigantic tree done up in a brilliant light display, with Emma Frost's touch added to the star. She's probably off somewhere enjoying a spot of cocoa with her old comrades, even. But really this wasn't so much for the Institute itself, but for all of its students. The ones that had no other home to return to....

Comments

[comparative_insanity]

It should be impossible for something to feel so good and hurt so much at the same time. Fai could stay like this forever, he knows he could, because nothing has ever felt so utterly, perfectly right before. But at the same time, he knows he can't, he knows it doesn't even mean what he wants it to mean, and that thought feels as if someone is slowly driving something blunt and rough-edged and heavy into his chest. He wants it so badly to be real, and there is a part of him that is so close to just throwing caution to the winds, just for the sake of at least one proper kiss. Just for the sake of no longer having to hold back anymore, if only for a moment.

And then Feliks' lips move against his skin, and he has to pull back a little bit, for the sake of the very last vestiges of his self-control and dignity. Not far though; he can't quite bring himself, and so they remain with their foreheads pressed together, their faces only a fraction of an inch apart.

"Like I've ever been able to resist your charms." He laughs, and it feels a little bit like the sound rips a small part out of his heart. "You know you've got me completely in he palm of your hand, right?"

/such sleeping wow

[niepokonany]

He lets Fai pull back, trying to ignore the deep and stinging regret.

The pain of the silence is worth it. Fai, and all they share, is worth shutting up and bearing it, even when it makes such a big part of him sick at his own rare display of cowardice.

Something is wrong with Fai's laugh, though. That's one thing Feliks will always pick up on. He frowns a little, laying a kiss to his cheek. "Mm. Like, don't feel bad -- who wouldn't be, right?" Fai knows it's all bluster, and even so, it sounds pretty pitifully hollow to his own ears.

...honey <3

[comparative_insanity]

Feliks sees. Not the whole thing, thankfully, not all of it, but Fai can still tell that he noticed that something was off. Just like he can tell that something is off with Feliks nowadays, that there's something that-

For a moment, he almost has it, but as he recognizes the hope that comes with the thought he slams down on it hard and pushes it away. He doesn't want to hope. He doesn't want to think he has a chance, only to realize that he's been fooling himself.

But it hurts, it all hurts right now, and he doesn't know how he could possibly cover it all up. If he tries to fake his way through, Feliks will see; unless, of course, he uses his powers on him, but he still refuses.

And so he takes the cocoa from Feliks' hand and wedges it safely between the pillows and the window, and then gives the other man a light shove, indicating that he should scoot over. He doesn't exactly fit comfortably, squeezed onto the ledge next to Feliks, but that doesn't really matter much. Wrapping one arm around him, he pulls Feliks halfway into his lap, his other hand once more returning to his hair. "I don't feel bad about it," he says quietly, and in itself this is indeed true - if not completely honest. "It's right where I want to be. I wouldn't trade it for the world."

I just woke up for a few minutes!

[niepokonany]

Something is weird. Something is weird, and he can't figure out what -- he doesn't have the first idea what, in an upsetting and nearly unprecedented exception to his usual ability to read Fai's emotions as easily as his own.

He doesn't want to stop kissing Fai, but that's -- that's selfish, and he'll definitely weird Fai out if he tries again, right? (Could he blame it on the mistletoe, if he did? They are still nestled right under it...) Instead, he curls up around him, nestling his head underneath Fai's chin, listening to his heartbeat. Why is it so fast? It's almost like... No. He shouldn't go there, it just hurts.

But is it because of what's upsetting Fai?

"That's just how crazy about me you are," he jokes, trying to walk the line and not give in to false hope or feel miserable about it. Somehow, he seems to fail in both directions at once, ending up elated and crushed at the same time, still trying to sound lighthearted and silly. He can just lie here, though, and hide his face in Fai's shoulder, breathing in the scent of him and feeling his hands in his hair, and that will make everything OK. "I'm just, like, that captivating, you know?"

He wishes.